Thanks Lucy ! Nearly upchucked a latte all over a sleeping lady in the Changi airport lounge on reading your long chips account: had to skedaddle quickly away after embarrassing meself! You got some serious juice going there, donβt ever stop writing!
π€£π€£π€£ the face mask and the realness of the endless to do if we keep up with all the beauty βmust dos.β I sometimes very rarely remember to roller my face and I always mean to use my face laser so I can pretend Iβm 25 again but, umβ¦life? π€π€¨
I need an update on poor Joe and how his insides have fared following ingesting that revolting, inept face mask! I nearly weed on the train with LOLs π€£, bloody love your columns π
This piece was sublime! Nearly spilled my tea chuckling, especially on the jade roller picture. My 8yo daughter is obsessed with skincare (at EIGHT, I know π«) and has a rose quartz roller. I think the head fell off the handle quite soon after purchase, which I suspect isnβt something she manifested to happen to it.
Probably better buy some more crystals to improve the vibrations in the house so crap skin rollers donβt break next time we bring one homeβ¦
Thereβs a shop called SΓΈstrene Grene in Tottenham Court Rd and it is kind of like if the Bennet sisters opened a branch of Flying Tiger β they do a version of long chips there.
15-yr old girls and post-menopausal women are my jam! Hear me out : )
In another life, I published some music online, and one of the streaming services provided behind-the-scenes demographic info on my listeners. For whatever reason, my songs scored well with young girls and older women, but for literally every other demo they fell on deaf ears. I haven't a clue why, it just worked out that way Β―\_(γ)_/Β―
EDIT: I've been reliably informed that I have it exactly backwards. I am *their* jam. Ha ha-- yes! This makes more sense. (Though I do love my fans!)
I like how long it took me to scroll down past that picture of the Long Chips. I will add finding a pack of those to my to do list.
They are loooooong
Chakra Canβt πππ
Thanks Lucy ! Nearly upchucked a latte all over a sleeping lady in the Changi airport lounge on reading your long chips account: had to skedaddle quickly away after embarrassing meself! You got some serious juice going there, donβt ever stop writing!
Haha amazing! Thank you so much β€οΈ
π€£π€£π€£ the face mask and the realness of the endless to do if we keep up with all the beauty βmust dos.β I sometimes very rarely remember to roller my face and I always mean to use my face laser so I can pretend Iβm 25 again but, umβ¦life? π€π€¨
Iβve rolled once since I got it!
I need an update on poor Joe and how his insides have fared following ingesting that revolting, inept face mask! I nearly weed on the train with LOLs π€£, bloody love your columns π
haha! he's fine! It was 'plant based' believe it or not π
Jade rollers and long chips! Canβt go wrong
Hahaaaaaa!
This piece was sublime! Nearly spilled my tea chuckling, especially on the jade roller picture. My 8yo daughter is obsessed with skincare (at EIGHT, I know π«) and has a rose quartz roller. I think the head fell off the handle quite soon after purchase, which I suspect isnβt something she manifested to happen to it.
Probably better buy some more crystals to improve the vibrations in the house so crap skin rollers donβt break next time we bring one homeβ¦
It does look from the way the model has her tongue out like you are meant to ingest your own face pack, so maybe your dog had the right idea! (Ew.)
Also: just how long is the Long Chip? Iβm curious!
I would say theyβre about the size of a small ruler! Still thinking about them π
I really think you are the funniest thing on substack. Absolutely brilliant!
Aw thank you!!
I loved this!
Thereβs a shop called SΓΈstrene Grene in Tottenham Court Rd and it is kind of like if the Bennet sisters opened a branch of Flying Tiger β they do a version of long chips there.
Are you kidding me? Thatβs like two of my favourite things in one! Thanks Justin - Iβm off to get the bougie Swedish cottagecore LΓΈng Chips!
15-yr old girls and post-menopausal women are my jam! Hear me out : )
In another life, I published some music online, and one of the streaming services provided behind-the-scenes demographic info on my listeners. For whatever reason, my songs scored well with young girls and older women, but for literally every other demo they fell on deaf ears. I haven't a clue why, it just worked out that way Β―\_(γ)_/Β―
EDIT: I've been reliably informed that I have it exactly backwards. I am *their* jam. Ha ha-- yes! This makes more sense. (Though I do love my fans!)
Omg that picture I love you π€£