Tumescent Thursday

THIS WEEK: Face off

Life can be horribly unpredictable. You can spend years under the illusion that things are normal, only to be hit by the discovery that you’re married to an axe murderer or there’s a portal to hell in your garden. And today’s objet d’art from Temu is a little bit like that, because what you see is very definitely not what you get…

Want to find out what it is? Well, the great news is that an annual subscription to the Lucyverse will be £30 until 30th September - which is the lowest price it will EVER BE.

I’m calling it the Lucyverse Autumn Sale because A Desperate Cry For Financial Help didn’t sound very catchy, so if you want 12 months of brand-new lols and access to two and a half years of classic lols for a bargain price, sign up now!

Ready? Let us reveal all…