Temuescent Thursday

Clamp their walnuts!

You’re probably wondering why I’m always hanging around on Temu. I suppose it’s because the Lucyverse is an anti-capitalist public service, and we need to know our enemy. But it’s also because it never, ever disappoints. You think you’re looking at an ordinary object, and then it slowly turns into a surrealist dreamscape that Luis Buñuel might have rejected for being muy loco. Up is down, down is up, and the doors of perception (£6.47, reduced from £13.76) are thrown open to reveal an infinite spiral of lunacy, usually in the form of a creative optical illusion doormat.

Today’s rather appalling discovery is a case in point. It’s a pair of kitchen scissors. How can you make kitchen scissors weird?

Well, let’s cut to the chase and find out…✂️