Temuescent Thursday

Here comes the washing machine

One of the most overused phrases in marketing is ‘we’ve got you covered.’ Covered in what? Oily residue? Cling film? Custard? A body bag?

It’s meant to make you feel reassured, yet no human being would ever say ‘I’ve got you covered’, would they? Just as nobody would say ‘there’s something for everyone’ if you asked them what was for dinner.

However, Temu DOES have you covered. They’ve got loads of things covered, even though some of those things probably shouldn’t be covered at all. In fact, some of them explicitly state DO NOT COVER, but hey, what’s a small fire between friends?

Anyway, let’s peek behind the flammable net curtain and peruse a selection of shocking sheaths that are sure to make your smoke alarm beep in anguish…